well it is Dec 2008 and I still miss you as much as the day you died and I don't have dreams about you which scares me why can't I dream maybe than I could start a new life of my own just me no one else I need no other man and no one could ever be as good as you I would just like to live life feeling alive but I haven't figured out how to do that without you please GOD let me no what to do and let DOUG come to me in my sleep and let me no that it is going to be alright. Thank you I love you DOUG and Thank you LORD.