Well I will try this one more time the last one I wrote disapeared. Little Charles truned 18 today and of course I'm sure nothing was done for him I did find him online and tell him happy brithday I sit and think about how everything has changed sense you left us I'm sure your in heaven watching us and I am ashamed to have you see me the kids you knew what they were like they still check on me daily that is part of them Charles moved as you knew and you no why but it came out about Jorge anyway when Holly told her consulor they had to get the ploice involed Crystal still doesn't know why he moved and they have quit talking all together Heather and Crystal had words and that way I guess Charles never had to let her know why he didn't want to change jobs and go with Jorge so I guess they will never be close again like Holly and Crystal they were so close and now don't talk at all Holly barley talks to me she thinks because I still love Crystal and talk to her that I'm taking their side of the Jorge and Holly thing which is not right at all I no how hard Holly tried to keep it quiet and not let Crystal find out she didn't want to hurt her but then Crystal stayed with Jorge so now Holly feels like Crystal hates her. so now because I talk with all my kids and Holly isn't old enough to understand life she doesn't call me I have to call her and then Hazel has to make her call me most of the time. but one day she will understand about a mother. I'm not sure about Holly and Crystal or for that matter Hazel & Charles but what can I do there to old I have no right to make them do anything. so maybe one day things will change and maybe even before I die but I don't think so I can't help Brittany or Charles and I don't no what Carol or Cliff are thinking because both children are losing there life to either drugs and theft I think little Charles still has a chance but he doesn't have a parent to try to get him on track. but I guess I have no room to talk my children had bad lifes and I didn't do much to help them thur there hard times but they all no I love them and my grandkids more than life that is what keeps me going without you, I do fear for Crystal when she finds out the truth about Jorge and also Carol when she one day realizes how she made her own children feel. I'm litterly scared of Brittany and I think there is no hope for her but at least Baron and Doc went to prison for there crimes Freddie and Jorge got away because Holly wouldn't testifie in court she didn't want to be around him. I hate the way the family seems to have fallen apart without you but at least I no they loved you and listen to you I do wish the Jorge thing had came out before you died but then you might be in jail I don't nol wnyway just letting off a little steam because I'm lonely and upset to about little Charles brithday and nothing getting done for him and Cliff right there and doesn't care anyway I love you always