It is hard to believe it has been three years. Some days I can still get upset thinking about it; the one who hated me and poisons my relationships to this day remains while you are gone. Then I remember that I will not be forgiven if I cannot forgive. The motives are wrong but most people don’t have unselfish motives. God makes all things new, and turns all things to the good for those who love Him. If it’s true that the saints near God can appeal to Him, then help me out here. I was home last week and your memory was there in a powerful way, almost as if your ghost had been there. I went places we had all gone and realized belatedly that you must have loved some of them, the place mom used to take Kim, the road that intersects Westmoreland, the dock behind that house…did you ever notice the scent of the gardenia bush there? I could almost see you. I remembered your last message to me. Sometimes I feel that way too, but I think I will see you soon anyway. I’m not afraid but I do regret not doing many things differently. Too many. My nappy-headed bro, you are still remembered and missed.